Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Norfolk Translations - For Non Locals



Narridge yoonyun = major norfolk employer

thang kyer = spoken at high speed, used by Norfolk shop assistants when accepting money

how're yer gettin arn = norfolk greeting

hair = here

shicagooo's = nightspot on prince of wales road

bare = sold by the pint in shicagooo's

is that rioght? = comment to show attention being paid to speaker

ass a jouk = i'm just kidding

kharzi = suburb on the western out-skirts of norwich (not bowthorpe)

tross = pronounced like gross only beginning with a "T".suburb south side of norwich

windam = small town south of norwich (sensible abbreviation of it's proper name = wymundimundimundum)

card = traditionally eaten with chips

koodee = shop in st. stephens street

hum base = DIY shop (various sites)

fooze = electrical component on sale at hum base

fool = petrol or diesel

int-huh-net = worldwide web

loos-tarfed = daft east coast fishing port

stoo-ped = term applied to f**kwits

gatoo = sticky chocolate cake

foo too = get these developed at boots

sproight = fizzy lemon drink

jargon = like running, but slower

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Angry of Gable End

I don't like m'blog to be used as a soapbox for any trenchant views I may fleetingly hold, but I've got my ire up over a couple of things this last few days, so I just need to let off steam.

IT'S TOUGH ON THE HUSTINGS

It appears that Italian leader, Silvio Berlusconi, has been injured after some bloke threw something at him in Milan.

Now, I'm not one to condone violence, but frankly I'm surprised no one's had a go at him before. In Berlusconi we see the archetype European politician, a man whose "moral compass" is seriously out of whack and who holds in contempt the democratic process and his people.

Berlusconi, the longest serving EU leader, is a close personal friend of T Blair Esq, a consort of prostitutes and minors (according to his estranged wife, who seems to have had enough of him); a predatory male with an extensive record of criminal allegations, including mafia collusion, false accounting, tax fraud, corruption and bribery of police officers and judges,

He is currently on trial for corruption, again, (and lest we forget, his web extends into the nether regions of New Labour via Tessa Jowell and her estranged husband, David Mills) although he has a track record of making sure laws are conveniently passed DURING his trials making his misdemeanours legal. Also worthy of note Sarkozy has acted for Berlusconi; how very cosy.

Frankly he was lucky it was just a model of Milan Cathedral, and not the real thing. The lesson here is what any school child learns - if you keep taking the piss, sooner or later someone will eventually come up and whack you.
YOUTH, ACTUALLY STUDENT, UNEMPLOYMENT

Apparently this is one of the biggest issues facing the country today, notwithstanding the fact that I would have thought that the people we ought to be most worried about are family men and women, with mortgages, kids to feed, clothe and house who have been paying taxes through the nose to support New Labour's construction of its vast and spectacularly inefficient client state, now with its tentacles firmly embedded in every part of our lives, weighing down the country and plunging us towards insolvency.

In defence of the motion, the BBC this morning wheeled out a suffering student, who, having completed his Masters last summer was having trouble finding work. As the interview progressed however, it emerged that this bleeding heart had been gainfully employed after gaining his degree and had decided to give his job up to pursue his Masters. To add a slightly surreal bent to the proceedings, it emerged that his MA is in Politics and that he felt he really ought to be employed by the Public Sector, swanning his way around the world at my expense pontificating on Global Climate Change. He honestly felt that he should be in wonderful Copenhagen (thus proving in passing that climate change has little to do with science and everything to do with politics).

How does someone get this kind of sense of entitlement ? The arrogance of the chap was breathtaking. Really, you couldn’t make it up.

I was pleased to learn however, that he felt that his MA had made him a much more rounded person of intrinsic value to society (and Lord knows, more Politics Major’s are JUST the kind of thing the country needs right now),and that he had learnt a lot.

Maybe, but there’s a couple more lessons for him and anyone else moaning about the lack of opportunity:-

1). Don’t give up your job and expect the rest of us to turn round 3 years later with a leg up into a comfy public sector sinecure at my expense

2). It's tough for everyone to find work, not just students, so stop moaning and get on with it.

2). Ask yourself if your Country is best served by another one of you clogging up the arteries of State

Happy Xmas. Normal service will be resumed shortly. :-)