What-Ho, and a Happy New Year to you.
Well, I had been writing a nice piece to fully review the highlights and indeed, lowlights, of 2009 as seen through the rheumy eyes of Gable End, but upon opening the files today I see that for some reason known best to itself, MS Word decided not to save my work.
Now I know what you're thinking, that I should save my work regularly, but I swear, I did. As if to prove it, and by way of rubbing salt into the wound, the papers I was writing for work seem to have been saved perfectly. My blog ? Not a peep. Not even secreted away in the Temp file or something.
Bastard MS Word etc etc
Anyway, my muse left me last year, and She now only occasionally comes back for a fleeting visit, so I have not the will to rewrite what was, I have to say, an enthralling and interesting disposition... and, like Andrex, very, very long.
At least, not right now, as I have other things to prepare for such as going back to work tomorrow (ie 4th Jan 2010). This means deploying my almost favourite Xmas present this year, a pair (?) of rechargeable hair clippers. These are they...
Well, I had been writing a nice piece to fully review the highlights and indeed, lowlights, of 2009 as seen through the rheumy eyes of Gable End, but upon opening the files today I see that for some reason known best to itself, MS Word decided not to save my work.
Now I know what you're thinking, that I should save my work regularly, but I swear, I did. As if to prove it, and by way of rubbing salt into the wound, the papers I was writing for work seem to have been saved perfectly. My blog ? Not a peep. Not even secreted away in the Temp file or something.
Bastard MS Word etc etc
Anyway, my muse left me last year, and She now only occasionally comes back for a fleeting visit, so I have not the will to rewrite what was, I have to say, an enthralling and interesting disposition... and, like Andrex, very, very long.
At least, not right now, as I have other things to prepare for such as going back to work tomorrow (ie 4th Jan 2010). This means deploying my almost favourite Xmas present this year, a pair (?) of rechargeable hair clippers. These are they...
Demon, aren’t they ? No more searching for the extension lead and wrapping said lead around my neck, threatening asphyxiation. They feature a 180 swivel head arrangement (and we all know how important that is), a choice of 2 cutting, errrr... things to put on top of the blades for height, and if you press that red button, you can select the corresponding Bovver Boy Hair Length (TM) from No1 to No5 and then (having switched errr... plastic things) No6 to No10.
Tidy.
Anyway, I will mostly be using them to trim my hair in 2010. For some reason this puts me in mind of the second best joke I have ever heard, the "Swedish Chemist Shop Joke". I say the second best, because the best joke I have ever hard, and the one which joke cognoscenti generally agree is the funniest and finest ever told is, of course, The Welders Goggle joke.
This joke is known to only one man and gets told roughly once every twenty years, so potent is its effect. Once heard, it will never leave you, but by some strange force of joke physics, you will not be able to remember the set-up or the substance. All you will remember is how your sides ached and how you nearly swallowed your tongue through laughing too much.
If you should be so lucky as to meet the only man on the face of the planet who can tell the joke properly, implore him to do so. It is an experience you will not forget.
Anyway, back to the second best joke...
THE SWEDISH CHEMIST SHOP JOKE
(BEST RELAYED IN A FAKE SWEDISH ACCENT)
"Good afternoon"
"Can I help you Sir ?"
"Yes, I would like some deodorant please"
"Ball or aerosol ?"
"Neither, I want it for my armpits"
Ithangu...
